Housebreaking Your Writer

I didn’t post anything on The Commune yesterday. I’d started writing a rather lengthy post about #agentfail and #queryfail and Nathan Bransford’s “Be An Agent for a Day,” contest. Basically it boiled down to pointing out the flawed thinking in Bransford’s contest and pointing out how both agents and writers were both wrong and right in their individual viewpoints and saying, “Can’t we all just be grown-ups and get along?” What writers, agents, and editors all need to remember is nothing in this business is about us. It’s all about the story and the reader. The story is the product and the reader is the customer. Without a worthwhile product (story) to offer to the customer (reader), none of us have a job or a reason for being.

Those of you who follow me on Twitter, or who just glance at the updates off to the side there, know that yesterday I took my puppy to have him neutered and microchipped. Based on his reactions when we dropped him off and when we picked him up, it wasn’t a traumatic experience at all for him. He just didn’t understand why we weren’t feeding him for about twelve hours beforehand. Was the pack out of food? Couldn’t we go hunt some more? Maybe we could eat the squeaky toys or one of the soft, fuzzy blankets? Oh, look, there’s a nice Texas Longhorn[1], maybe we could have one of those? You brought the barbecue sauce, right?

He was actually quite eager to go with the vet tech when I handed off the leash. I’m certain he could smell food in the back. His vet is located on the premise of a local stable that breeds champion Palominos. When we got out of the car, the smell of horses (prey) and their food was very strong in my nose. I can only imagine what it smelled like to a very hungry puppy.

The vet tech reported that Sam greeted her enthusiastically this morning; he was equally enthusiastic in greeting his human pack when we showed up to retrieve him. Sam is nothing if not friendly and enthusiastic. He’s never met a stranger and he seems to have learned that we always come back, nor is he one to hold a grudge.

I’ve long said that any writer who does not have children should have a pet – whether a dog or cat does not matter. Pets force us away from the keyboard and out into life periodically. They remind us to get up and move. They give us a reason to get up in the morning. They put us on a schedule – it doesn’t matter how long we stayed up writing the night before; they know what time the alarm is supposed to go off – which makes us more likely to take care of ourselves.

Besides all that, as I missed my rambunctious, demanding, high-energy puppy yesterday, I realized that we writers could learn even more from our pets. We could learn some very important writerly lessons, if we choose to pay attention.

1. Live in the moment. By breeding, Sam is a herding dog. As such, keeping him exercised and stimulated is very important to the overall happiness of the combined human-canine pack. There have been times when I’ve taken him out to play fetch when he’s just taken off running. He’s not running away nor is he running toward anything. He’s just running. In those moments, watching him, the sheer joy and pleasure that comes as his feet move across the grass, as his muscles contract and release, allowing him to almost fly, one can tell he’s not thinking about the past or the future or even the present. He’s not aware of the grass, the wind, me, or even himself. All that exists in that one moment is the act of running. It’s pure focus and complete absence of self.

I’ve seen the same thing in cats when they’re hunting. There’s that moment when the prey has been identified, when the cat has his muscles pulled beneath him, watching, waiting… Looking for the moment when everything is perfectly aligned. When that happens, it’s not about the cat, or the prey, or the act of springing… It’s all about the moment when these things come together and just are.

Writers often worry about what’s going to happen next. When I finish writing, who am I going to submit to? What happens if it’s rejected? What if… Sometimes, such things don’t matter. Sometimes all that matters is the act of writing. Just enjoy the moment, the act of being, the act of writing, and don’t worry about what comes next until later.

2. It’s okay to look foolish. Have you ever seen a dog rolling in a pile of leaves, legs flailing in the air, tongue hanging out? They are anything except dignified. What about a cat who walks over to you and flops over on their back in a demand to have their belly rubbed? They look anything but dignified. They have no pre-conceived notions of what is acceptable or what is proper. They don’t worry about what other dogs or cats think of them. They just do what gives them pleasure, what they want to do at the moment, what they enjoy.

Writers often get caught up wondering if something in their story is acceptable. They get bogged down in the details. Is it proper to use the serial comma? How long should a chapter be? How do you denote scene breaks? How many inches down a page should a chapter begin? Which font is the most correct? What should this character do or think or be?

Who cares? If you’re still writing, if you’re not at the submission stage, just write. This isn’t an office job. No one really cares if you’re using the exact same font as the person in the next cubicle over. New writers often tend to want to come across as serious or profound. They want to be serious literary figures who are respected and held in high regard. Pshaw. This writing gig is supposed to be fun. Go roll in a few leaves, flop over and let the words tickle your belly. Let go. Enjoy being a writer. Laugh and share the simple pleasures with your stories and your readers.

3. Explore new scents and experiences. Dogs and cats never stop exploring their environments. Despite the adage “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks,” dogs never stop learning. Same with cats. If either comes across something new in their environment, they want to learn everything they can about it. Is it dangerous? A threat? Is it alive? Does it need protecting? How can we use this for our purposes?

Writers also should never stop learning. Through new experiences, we gain new ideas, new perspectives to share with our readers, new ways of expressing ourselves. Is it something we should or could share with others? Is it a story? Can we use this to torture a character? How will it make our writing more believable? More accessible?

Curiosity is one of the greatest resources available to any writer. Never stop looking, sniffing, exploring, tasting, listening, reading, or learning new things, no matter how experienced a writer you become.

4. Ask for what you want. Be persistent. Anyone who has ever owned a dog or a cat know it’s not easy to tell them ‘no’ when they really want something. So what if you’re about ready to solve the meaning of the universe, if puppy wants to play, there will be a squeaky toy shoved against your leg. Squeaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueak. If the cat wants his ears scratched, claws will be extended to pull your hand away from the keyboard, the remote, or whatever you were doing until their need is satisfied.

Humans with pets have learned it’s easier and simpler to take a moment to throw the toy, to scratch the ears, than it is to try to deny the animal what they want especially when, in the great scheme of things, it’s really not that big of deal.

Treat publishing the same way. Keep sending your work out over and over again. Go after the goals you really want. Don’t be afraid to ask. The worst you will be told is no, but eventually, someone will take the time to satisfy your needs if you are insistent enough.

5. Training is not a bad thing. Successful pet owners know that the key to a healthy, happy pet is training; that the right training is the best way to prevent problems later on. And the thing is, pets don’t typically resist training. They’re eager to learn what their human families want from them. Despite some clichéd differences, this is true of both cats and dogs. They want to know what is acceptable, what is forbidden, what is preferred, and what isn’t. They want to know what the rules are and when it is and is not acceptable to break them. They accept criticism.

Writers would do well to follow their example. Learning the rules of writing – how to mark dialogue, how to create tension, pacing, the different parts of speech, what different sounds can represent on a psychological level, what agents and editors want in a submission – aren’t bad things. They help make the entire writing process easier.

Learning when it is okay to break certain rules – when it is okay to jump on the bed and when it’s not – help make our writing stronger. Being willing to accept criticism, rather than claiming that a mistake is “our voice,” would serve writers well in their quest for publication and readers. Seeking out and accepting training as writers is not a bad thing.

As you learn to write and seek to improve your craft, don’t just look to other writers for lessons. Look to the world around you, including the animal kingdom.

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[1] Several years ago, a local resident purchased the herd of Longhorns that used to appear in the Marlboro cigarette commercials, back when you could still have ads for cigarettes on TV.